3connect

Any Gentlemen?

2012-02-03T16:52:00.001-06:00

Today I was leaving a bank, and as I was walking out, a lady was coming towards the bank. She had a sour expression on her face and walked look down. I waited, smiled, and held the door open for her, not thinking that much about it.

And with a dry scowl, she commented, "Well, maybe there are a few gentlemen still around."

It was a reminder to me:

What I do speaks louder than what I say.
"Walk slowly through the crowd" applies to everywhere.
Sometimes it doesn't take a lot of effort to stand out in today's hurried culture.
A small action can brighten two people's day--mine and hers.

Why Leadership Matters

2012-01-27T14:38:00.000-06:00

Without leadership, I will only do what I can do.

Without leadership, there is no discipleship.

Without leadership, we might as well live on an island.

Without leadership, we don't learn to function as a team.

Without leadership, we don't learn interdependence.

Without leadership, my skills and efforts cannot be multiplied.

Without leadership, I have no one to follow.

Without leadership, people don't have someone to point the way.

Without leadership, there is ineffectiveness and inefficiency

Without leadership, there is anarchy.

Replace Yourself

2011-05-31T08:34:00.000-05:00

In the previous blog, I talked about HOW to apprentice by listing out the 5 steps of the apprenticeship process. Today, I want to focus on what we need to THINK about apprenticeship.

The inspiration for this article comes from the book "7 Practices of Effective Ministry" by Andy Stanley. REPLACE YOURSELF is "learning to hand off what you do."

We all have two choices regarding our roles.

You can desperately hold on to your job until someone inevitably replaces you.
You can prepare someone to do what you do and strategically replace yourself.

If we lead anything, we must take an honest look at any barriers to the organization's growth that we placing because of our inability or refusal to apprentice. Sometimes our greatest strength as a leader can actually build a leadership wall that hinders the development of future leaders.

The entrepreneurial leader specializes in taking risks and pioneering new territory, yet may see others' fresh ideas as threatening or in competition with his own.

The nurturing leader is patient and encouraging, but may lack the zeal to confront someone in areas that really need to change.

The charismatic leader can inspire the masses to follow a dream, yet may become jealous and defensive when the time comes for people to follow a new leader.

The innovative leader uses creativity to produce something relevant and original, but tends to get possessive when another artist tries to improve on what has been created.

The managing leader is excellent at coordinating staff and developing systems, yet may stubbornly resist those who question the process or want to experiment with doing things in a different way.

The high-performance leader can juggle an incredible workload and still be extremely productive, but his failure to delegate does not allow anyone else to really own a piece of the vision.

Identifying which of these is you is probably very easy. In fact, I would guarantee that each person on your team could identify yours.

Replacing yourself demands that you face some personal tendencies that could be unhealthy for your organization. Most people's spoken or unspoken push-back to apprenticeship is rooted in the concept of job security. But really, this job security mindset should really be called job "insecurity".

Does your organization champion "replace yourself"? If not, you will be erecting leadership walls that will stifle your ability to raise up new leaders and grow the organization as a whole.

It is often our busyness or our insecurities that make us hesitant to teach someone how to do what we do.

Are you too busy doing stuff or are you making time to evaluate your weaknesses in this area?

Are you conquering your insecurities so that you can apprentice?

Intentional Apprenticeship

2010-11-09T14:15:00.000-06:00

From the 7 Practices of Effective Ministry, one of the practices is Replace Yourself. The word apprenticeship is one of those words that has almost vanished from our vocabulary in today’s culture. However, apprenticeship is the most effective ways to train someone, whether in the workplace or in the church.

Apprenticeship is a fundamental principle of reproduction, yet it is so often overlooked. We can attract a crowd or get people to make a decision to engage based on an emotional appeal. However, to build a team or create a movement, they must first learn what it means to be an apprentice.

Jesus’ very first action of ministry was to invite twelve apprentices. “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men” Matt. 4:19. He called twelve men and taught them his ministry and his message so that they could do the same things he had done. Two thousand years later, his movement has reached billions and billions of people, sharing the same unchanging message to every generation.

In the book, Exponential, the word apprentice “says that you not only are a learner but also are willing and ready to take action that will demand greater leadership responsibility in order to further the movement of Jesus. Apprentices don’t just learn; they do what they have been taught and aspire to lead themselves.”

I believe that one of the reasons most churches are struggling is that we have not incorporated this principle as part of our culture. All too often, we allow our ego’s, our busy-ness, or our own insecurities to keep us from practicing apprenticeship.

Even Jesus followers faced this process of apprenticeship. Remember when He went up on the Mount of Transfiguration? The disciples tried to do something they were not equipped to do. When they asked Jesus why they could not cast out these demons, He said that this type only happens through prayer and fasting. In other words, I haven’t shown you that yet.

Small groups are the best place to put this principle to the test because only a person who is capable of developing followers will be successful at leading a small group. And if a person has proven capable of developing a following in a small group, he can produce a following in other areas.

Apprenticeship is not about finding people who can help us do tasks more effectively. It is not about having an assistant. We’re not even talking about preparing people to simply replace us so we can move on to do something else. At the heart of Biblical apprenticeship is a mindset of reproduction: reproducing our leadership so the mission will be carried on to others.

The Five Steps of Leadership Development

I do. You watch. We talk.
I do. You help. We talk.
You do. I help. We talk.
You do. I watch. We talk.
You do. Someone watches. We talk.

Let me break it down for you:

1. I do. You watch. We talk.

3 simple questions: What worked? What didn’t work? How can we improve?

2. I do. You help. We talk.

Give apprentice the opportunity to lead in a particular area.

3. You do. I help. We talk.

Apprentice moves from supporting or helping to taking on most of the leadership responsibilities.

4. You do. I watch. We talk.

The new leader grows increasingly competent and confident. As the leader looks on and watches.

5. You do. Someone watches. We talk.

Apprenticeship process comes full circle. The former apprentice is developing a new apprentice. When this talk happens, it is a celebration.

These are steps, not sessions. The length of time that this process takes will vary based on:

Your RELATIONSHIP with the apprentice
The COMPETENCE of the apprentice
The DIFFICULTY of the role

This process is very relational. Not only does the apprentice need the leader; every leader needs to have a relationship with an apprentice. This one-on-one development will ensure a continuous flow of new leaders coming in and growing. Without a challenge or something new to learn, existing volunteers get bored and apathetic. But in an environment where apprenticing is happening, people are continually challenged to grow and are given opportunities to soar.

Do you have a clear path for people to take when coming on your team? Sometimes volunteers get bored with a role; potential leaders are always looking for something new they can learn. So once someone has learned a role, what can you apprentice them for next? Even as a church, we need to develop an obvious path to grow up leaders.

So how are you doing with this practice? Who are three people you are apprenticing right now? Where are they at in these 5 steps?

When Something Goes Wrong

2010-10-29T10:25:00.000-05:00

When something goes wrong, our tendency is often to blame a person--another staff member, a leader, a volunteer, or even ourselves. However, a problem is usually not the fault of a person, but a system. Here are four things to look at first, before blaming a person:

1. Was the design of the system flawed?

2. Was the communication of the system unclear?

3. Was training of the system inadequate?

4. Was the leader's inspection and on-going audit of the system sloppy?

Only after answering "NO" to all of these questions can we place the responsibility on the person. And even then, we need to be able to recognize if we have a person in the wrong seat.

Sometimes in order to find the answer, a leader must have "skip-level sessions". This is where a leader asks a question of someone who is not a direct report to them in order to find out what is going on. Whenever this is used, we must engage to assess the situation, and then be sure to point the person back to their leader and not try to fix the situation for that person.

The best question to ask a team member when trying to resolve a problem is "How can WE make this better?" This question dis-arms the person and usually diffuses any defensiveness. People always want to be part of positive changes, and when they get to be a part of the change, they will own the system even more.

Eagering Watching

2010-07-21T07:41:00.000-05:00

“It [gospel] is all so wonderful that even the angels are eagerly watching these things happen.” I Peter 1:12

Angels are heavenly creatures who are used to the grandeur of heaven. They are used to being participants in the powerful acts of God. Just think…they get front row seats to God at work. They are sometimes God’s messengers and they show up at places to work on the Almighty’s behalf.

But in this verse it says they are eagerly watching. So if the angels, in their heavenly houses, are eagerly watching, what is happening?

The gospel is going out. The act of Jesus paying the penalty for man’s sin and offering a relationship with God is present. Such a common message we hear every Sunday in many of our churches. So common that sometimes even I tune that part out. But not the angels.

So it begs the question…why don’t I eagerly watch? If the angels do, shouldn’t I get more excited, expectantly watching for a soul to believe?

God, forgive me for treating the Gospel as common. Forgive me for not expectantly watching. Help me to, like the angels, “eagerly watch.”

Meeting the Risen Savior

2010-04-04T20:21:00.002-05:00

Jesus teachings are truth and by following His principles for life, our lives will be changed.

But as we learned this morning at RCC, when we experience Christ's resurrection in a personal way, that is where real life change happens.

Sometimes we are afraid of talking about our spiritual lives in terms of "experience." It seems mystical and non-logical. And from some spiritual persuasions, it can be seen as heresy.

However, when you look at the early church leaders, their passion and their message was based on their experience with the risen Christ. It was not "Jesus taught this..." and "You should live this way...". It was..."have you heard about Jesus, the one who rose from the dead!!!"

Until we experience the risen Savior, His principles are simply "life improvement." But the only way to experience life transformation as His disciples did is to EXPERIENCE him as MY RISEN SAVIOR.

When I have experienced the risen Christ, my passion and message will be contagious just like the early disciples in the book of Acts. And once I have experienced that, His teachings can be applied to my life much easier.

Have you? And if so, how is that EXPERIENCE showing in your life and impacting those around you?

The most important part...

2009-09-30T07:45:00.004-05:00

Last night, I had to call Verizon to correct a charge that had been put on my bill. I was paying bills, and noticed there was an extra charge put on my bill. Needless to say, I was not happy about this. After searching their website to try to find out how I could change that charge, I finally called them. The first words out of the person's mouth was, "Thank you for calling Verizon. The most important part of our company is you, the customer."

He sounded sincere, but I thought, "Okay, he has been trained to say this." Once I told him my problem, he began researching the problem. Instead of putting me on hold while he checked it out, he asked about my day--and seemed really interested. He then asked what I do for a living, and we talked about that. He resolved my problem and then asked if there was anything else he could help me with. He ended the conversation by saying warmly, "The most important part of Verizon is you, our customer." By that time, I was convinced that he truly believed that--it was not just something he was trained to do.

So I began to wonder, when I talk to people every day, do they feel like the most important part of RCC? I am not talking about a tagline to make people feel good or come back. No, do they really feel valued and accepted. Because the church is not a building, a campus, a set of beliefs, a church staff. The church is PEOPLE.

Jesus did that. Everywhere he went, he valued and accepted people. No destination or task was more important than the people right in his path.

People matter. The most important part of the church is people.

CHANGING A CULTURE

2009-06-26T17:31:00.004-05:00

One week from today, we celebrate one of the most important holidays in our nation—a celebration of the Declaration of Independence from rule of England. It is usually a very fun occasion, marked by food, friends, and fireworks, of course. But it was very different for the men and women who made this day possible.

There was a lot of hard work, many courageous decisions and sleepless nights, blood, sweat, and tears that made this possible. They did some crazy things. These daring visionaries were not looking at their own comfort and ease, they cared about freedom for their children and grandchildren. Many of them sacrificed family, friends, and even their own lives. And today, we are the beneficiaries of that.

To change the course of a nation takes hard work and determination. The same is true of any attempt to change a culture. Today, we live in a culture that is suspicious of the church. They see the church as always asking, hypocritical, judgmental. And some of that is well deserved.

At RCC, what we are attempting to pull off this next Friday is crazy. It is a lot of hard work. Many people misunderstand, some say it is too much work or too much money. But what we are attempting to do is change a culture—and that will be misunderstood. We want people to see the church reflecting the very nature of God—generosity. We want to love the people of our communities so that they want to come to know the God we serve.

And is it working? Yes it is!!! Just look around you. Many of the people who are coming to RiverTown are doing so because they saw a church behaving differently. They saw people who cared and were willing to roll up their sleeves and give—without asking for anything in return.

So this next week, we all come together because of our love for God and our love for the lost. We will joyfully serve shoulder to shoulder, sweating it out together, knowing that together we can make a difference. We can work to change a culture, one person at a time.

This past week I heard from some friends who used to live in Blountstown. They were asking if we were doing the fireworks show again, because they would like to drive up from Orlando, where they now live, to be a part of it. They came to our first Community Independence Day Celebration 4 years ago. They were so amazed that a church would do this, that they attended church at RCC the next Sunday. And they kept coming back. They both made commitments to Christ, and were baptized. They were married here at RCC. And it is obvious that they still look back on the fireworks event as a pivotal point in their life—when their view of church was changed. And when their view of church was changed -- their relationship with God could be changed.

I challenge you to call each of your group this next week, and remind them of the great time we will have serving together, side by side. And remember, on our summer calendar, we have encouraged groups not to meet, so that everyone can come together and serve on Friday.

See you there.

Empower Others

2009-06-12T15:45:00.002-05:00

2009 SUMMER SEMESTER

WEEK 2

Leader Challenge: Empower others to serve

God has gifted each person in the body of Christ to serve. We find that in I Corinthians 12, as well as in other places. I believe one of the best places to serve is in the context of a small group. A small group is really a highly relational microcosm of the body of Christ.

So your job as a leader is not to do everything to make the group happen. Did you hear me? The best leaders discover what each individual is gifted to do, and then EMPOWERS them to do it in the context of a small group.

Look at I Peter 4:8-11 with me:

⁸Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ⁹Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. ¹⁰Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. ¹¹If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ.

Notice that when gifts are exercised in relationships (love), the end result is that Jesus is PRAISED!

Look for things those in your group are gifted at, and then encourage and empower them to use them.

Empower someone gifted in communication to handle that for the group.
Empower someone gifted in hospitality to plan your food/snacks.
Empower someone gifted in mercy to encourage someone who is hurting.
Empower someone gifted in “partying” to plan a party.
Empower someone who is organized to coordinate the calendar.
Empower someone gifted in prayer to keep track of prayer requests and answers.

They will experience joy in the process, and your burden will be lighter.

If I were in coma

2009-05-12T20:31:00.003-05:00

Today I visited a man who after a car accident, is not able to communicate. As I talked and prayed with he and his mother, I wanted to cry.

I saw a mother who desperately wanted to know that her son understood what she and I were telling him.
I watched a young man who is normally very active have to lie there with tubes and wires hooked up to him.
I realized how scared this man must be--trapped in a body that in injured inside and out.

My mind moved to the thought: If I were in a hospital bed--unable to communicate, what would I wish I had said?

Would my last words to my wife have communicated my love for her?
How would my children remember my last words to them? With kindness and strength, or criticism?
Will I have spoken truth that needed to be said to a friend, even though the words may hurt?

Or what have I said that I wish I could take back?

And then a more sobering thought--one day will be my last, and then my loved ones left behind will remember me by my last words.

What will those words be?

Afraid

2009-04-18T18:49:00.003-05:00

A few weeks ago, Paul preached a sermon on Trust vs. Control, and the memory verse that we were challenged to memorize was Psalm 56:3 "When I am afraid, I will trust in you."

Now, I don't consider myself a fearful person. I am not afraid:

of the dark,
of spiders,
of frogs,
of snakes (when I have a gun).
of speaking in public.

As a guy, at least I know not to show fear in front of others.

So I am amazed how many times in the last two weeks, that verse has come to my memory. Actually, how many times God has brought it to my mind. I am realizing how many times I am afraid of:

what others think
conflict
making the tough call
having the hard conversation
making a mistake
offending someone

You know, fear paralyzes. Whether it is fear of the dark, of snakes, of mom. Or whether it is fear of others, of failure, or of conflict. Fear causes us to hold back from saying what we need to or taking an action that is necessary.

My prayer to God is "when I am afraid, I will trust in you!!!"

Passion Week

2009-04-08T08:48:00.005-05:00

This week, I was reflecting on the events and people in Passion Week. Also on my mind was Paul’s talk this past Sunday on the core attitude of trust vs. control.

At the beginning of Passion Week, the crowd definitely seemed to trust Jesus. They were laying down palm branches and even their own coats for Jesus and his colt to ride on. That was definitely an act of trust. And you know, it seemed easy to trust Jesus when he was their triumphant king leading them to victory.

It is easy to trust when following a triumphant King.

But later on in the week, it seemed another attitude was predominant—one of fear and trying to control.

Our trust, or lack thereof, is revealed not when things are going good,
but when they seem out of control.

The religious leaders, out of fear of losing their influence, plotted to kill Jesus.
Judas tried to control his financial destiny by betraying Jesus.
Peter cut off the high priest’s servant’s ear, in an attempt to control with the sword.
The rest of the disciples fled, for fear of their own lives.
Pilate dodged responsibility (stuck his head in the sand) for fear of making the religious leaders mad.
Peter, out of fear, denied Jesus three times.

If you look at Jesus attitude, it remained one of trust. In the Garden, when He seemed to be battling the cross, he said, “Father, not my will, but yours be done”. He trusted His Father.

Then Jesus showed us the supreme example of trust—HE GAVE HIS OWN LIFE. Even his posture on the cross shows his trust. His arms stretched wide. He did not try to control. HE TRUSTED.

Today, we know the end of the book. We know that the Jesus we follow is victorious. The battle has been won—just read Revelation. So go back to my statement at the beginning:

It is easy to trust when following a triumphant King.

Three Services

2009-03-17T01:19:00.005-05:00

This past Sunday, we unveiled that RiverTown will be going to three services beginning on April 5^th. As we all heard, the new service times will be 8 AM, 9:30 AM, and 11 AM. Please understand that this is not because we just want to add a service, but because we MUST. Our services, especially 2^nd service, is consistently running about 75% full, and in a rural area, when a room is around 70% full, people will not come back.

Just to share a statistic with you: During the month of February alone, over 1,000 different individuals attended a Sunday morning service at RCC. With our weekly attendance averaging right around 700, that means many are only coming once or twice. And could the fact that we are full provide a valid excuse for them to miss church?

More service times means more room to invite your friends. Our goal is to have maximum seating at optimal inviting hours. And on Easter Sunday with three service times, we will need all hands on deck. So if you are part of a service team (as a leader I hope that you are), check with your team leader to offer to serve extra. Then come to the 8 AM service and then serve the people who God will be bringing. You can encourage your group to do that same.

And, you really don't want to miss what we have planned for Easter. I know we have said this a lot lately, but it is going to be an incredible message, and I guarantee you won't forget it easily. And that friend who you have been trying to get to come to church--do everything outside of something illegal or immoral to get them to come.

And while we are talking about Easter, it would be a great time of the year to celebrate communion as a group. Attached is a document that gives the Scriptural mandate for communion, and well as some ideas of how to do that in a small group.

Daughter Date

2009-03-01T17:37:00.005-06:00

Last night, I had a date with my 11.6 year old daughter. Yes, this year I decided for Valentine's day I would take my girls on a date. Had a great time, and she chose Sonic. Heather is the quiet one of our family, and so it was good to get some insight into what she likes.

It is amazing how my little girl is growing up. This year has made a big difference in her confidence and her personality is really showing. I was able to talk with her about boys (yes, they are interested in her . I am not surprised, but they better keep their distance). We talked about friends, what she wants to be when she grows up, and what is happening in her life this month.

My family is very important to me. We have developed routines that help us stay connected. Things like:

praying together before bed
eating together several evenings a week
asking the kids about their days
playing games together

These are all "together" time, but there is also the need for times with individuals.

A date with my wife every other week
A date with each of my two girls
Doing an activity with my son (a date with my son just doesn't work)

This is about developing intentional time with each other. You know, this same principle applies to our small group as well. There are some routines that help us stay connected. They are essential, and without these scheduled time, people would not be able to have shared expectations of what a group is about.

Weekly meeting that includes Bible study, prayer, food, and fun.
email and phone communication
fun times for the families in your group

But there are other ways of connecting that will help the relationships to grow deeper with individuals. Some examples are:

Meeting another guy for breakfast or coffee.
Golfing together (I just had to put this one in)
Shopping (although I would know this one from personal experience)
Working out with someone
Phone or personal conversations

My point it, the routine and scheduled ways of connecting are important, but they are not enough. We must intentionally seek ways to connect with individuals. It is often that personal time together that help the relationships grow deeper than they are able to during the scheduled times.

Sandpaper

2009-02-22T22:23:00.004-06:00

There seems to be one in every group. You know, the person who just seems to rub you the wrong way or as hard as you try, you just can't seem to find anything in common with them. You probably have been in a small group with someone who you dreaded having a conversation with. Or you tried to think of ways beforehand to keep them from talking.

Recently, I attended a conference out of town, and as part of the conference, we were told to find 3-4 others who we didn't know, and sit down and talk about several questions together. I looked around for someone, and there was one guy who just looked lost, so I asked him to join me. We were looking for someone else, and spotted a guy sitting all by himself, so we approached him. (He actually looked like he was looking for a hole to crawl into.)

So the three of us talked--or should I saw that one talked, and the other two of us listened. I tried to redirect the conversation several times, but he always centered it back on him. (In spite of this man's serious dysfunction, one of his primary questions was how he could get ordained. I wanted to find his pastor and warn him.)

So what do you do with someone like this?

First, pray for them. Ask God what he is trying to teach you through this interaction. My experience is that God often puts someone into my life who can be "sandpaper" in my character development. So sincerely thank God for them. God, in His sovereignty, puts people together. And sometimes those combinations are interesting.

Second, give some forethought and prayer to how you can deal with them. Ask God to give you insight into what they really need. Is it attention, is it truth from God's Word, is it showing God's grace, is it the communication of a boundary?

Third, speaking of boundaries, decide what boundaries must be set for the group interaction and for your own personal interaction. Then graciously but firmly communicate those boundaries. Sometimes this is best done individually, and sometimes it is good to involve the whole group. You don't want it to come across as a personal attack. But truth must sometimes be presented.

Remember, you can't fix anyone, but God can. And God often uses people to help in that process. God died for every person, even those who are "difficult people". And when I think of Jesus, he often hung out with the misfits, kooks, and unlovely people. And you know, except for God's grace in my life, I would be one of those too.

Share God's grace and unconditional love, and then watch in amazement as God begins to transform your heart. And He often transforms others as they experience Jesus through you.

Life Group Participation

2009-02-14T18:45:00.003-06:00

How do we encourage everyone to participate in Life Group? In reality, this is a question of ownership.

There are two kinds of people who attend a Life Group. First, there are those who say, "I go to Kevin's group." They see a Life Group as something they attend--just one choice on the menu of options in their week. They are part of a group because of what they can get out of it.

Then there are those who say, "This is my Life Group." They have decided that this is their group--ownership. They realize that group is not just something to attend, it is relational connections that add value to each person's life, including theirs. They are part of a group because of what they can give to others.

So, I think the fundamental answer to getting people to participate is to encourage them to buy in to ownership. And, how do we do that?

Use the covenant to establish expectations. People won't buy into ownership unless they understand what is expected. Further, the covenant gives them a chance to voice preferences. This should be discussed in your first or second meeting.
Help people see the benefit of attending the meeting, and connecting in relationships.
Delegate responsibilities such as bringing food or snacks or making phone calls and emails.
Ask others to facilitate the discussion, or lead the prayer time.
Ask others to host the meeting in their home.
Give forethought to the seating arrangement, so that each person has eye contact with others.

I would love to hear how you have encouraged participation in your group. Please email me your ideas.

Communication

2009-02-05T20:37:00.002-06:00

This past Sunday, we started 8 new Life Groups at RCC. When starting a new group, the first thing necessary is COMMUNICATION. You cannot overcommunicate.

By the way, this is not important only for new groups, it is important for a group in any stage.

So why is communication from the leader so important?

It lets people know the obvious things "when" and "where".
It helps to establish expectations and ease fears.
It helps the group get to know the leader.
It affirms that someone is valuable--someone took the time to tell them something.
It can establish the sense of belonging to a group.

What should a leader communicate to the group?

Time and place.
What is happening with food or snacks.
What are we doing with children.
Do they need to prepare in any way (bring Bible or curriculum, homework, reading, etc.)
Starting time and ending time.

How should a leader communicate?

A leader should communicate in any way that is effectively received by each individual. Remember, communciate is not just saying--it is not complete until the "receiver" has understood what the "speaker" intended them to hear. Some methods of communication are:

Face to face
telephone
email
social networking sites like Facebook
Twitter
Smoke signals

(the value of the last two is yet to be determined)

Seriously, I have seen all of the above used to communciate in our Life Groups (the smoke signal is a stretch). You have to find out what works for your group. And don't be afraid to try something different. Communication in an unexpected way can yield the greatest benefit. There are some definite advantages of each one, and that might be the subject of another blog entry. But make sure that you communicate.

Would anyone know...

2009-02-03T19:57:00.006-06:00

Today I talked to a friend who spent the entire week in the hospital taking care of her elderly mother. She described a roller coaster week of dealing with the hourly changes in her mother's health. One moment they were planning her funeral, the next they were realizing she could be in the hospital a long time, the next day they were preparing for her to come home.

Then I discovered that some of her "friends" did not know for a full week about this.

Some questions came to me. If I was dealing with the hospitalization of a loved one, who would I want to know? Who would I call? Who would they notify? And this notification process--is it gossip or sharing among people who really care?

If you notice, I have more questions than answers. But if we are to continue to grow as a church, then we must develop a culture where relationships and communication are decentralized. We must develop a system where relationships and connections occur naturally, instead of relying on the church office to keep people informed. That is small church thinking.

Small church thinking relies on the pastor to care; we must develop culture where care happens because the people care.
Small church thinking control communication; we must create systems where communcation is intentional and natural.
Small church thinking stifles leadership creativity; we must free lay leaders to really lead.
Small church thinking is often "it's all about me"; we must continually re-focus people to look outward.

This next week, we are evaluating and working on our systems for assimilation. And if we get our assimilation system right, people will be cared for.

The question would not be"Would anyone know...?" Because no one has to ask, "would anyone care...?"

Where is my focus?

2009-01-23T16:54:00.003-06:00

Looking at the story of Moses' interaction with Pharoah this week, I was again amazed at the guts of both of them. Pharoah had guts to continue to defy God. Moses had incredible guts to face not only the manipulation and scorn of Pharoah, but also the wildly vacillating emotions of the Jews.

How did Moses do this? How did he stay focused on what God called him to do.

I think there are two reasons.

The first has something to do with his burning bush experience. That visit and conversation with God was so impressed on his mind, that in the days ahead, when he was tempted to doubt, he could look back and KNOW the God he served. It allowed him to maintain his focus on God's voice, and not be distracted by the voices around him.

I believe the second was he emotional endurance, as Mark Batterson talked about in his blog. Here are two quotes:

"You have to manage the fear and the discouragement and the anxiety. If you can't, you won't make it. But if you allow the challenging situations to build emotional endurance, you'll be prepared for even bigger challenges."

"One of the things that has helped me deal with criticism and stress is my perspective. I don't particularly like criticism or stress, but I see it as building emotional endurance. And if I'm going to do bigger and better things for God, then I'm going to need more emotional endurance."

Emotional endurance is not emotional ignorance. I used to ignore emotions and pretend they didn't exist. That may temporarily appear like my emotions are under control. But they are only being stuffed and will eventually explode.

God had taken Moses through a series of experiences to build his trust and confidence in God. He had emotional endurance, so that he could see past the immediate voices of doubt and maintain his confidence in "I AM".

In the New Testament, it tells us to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith". This is another member of the trinity, who Moses called "I AM".

God allows stress and difficulty in our lives to build emotional endurance, so that our confidence can be in him.

2009-01-17T07:50:00.001-06:00

I recently read a great book by Craig Groeschel called IT: How churches and leaders can get it and keep it. The premise is based on an observation that some leaders and some churches are prevailing, and others aren’t. And when you analyze all the factors, it is not obvious why. When you are with a leader with IT, you know it. When you attend a church that has IT, you know it. (You’ll have to read the book to find out what IT is.)

Then this week, Paul had us listen to a talk given by Craig at Catalyst. He talked about three prayers to pray when you realize that you don’t have IT but you want to get IT back.

GOD, RUIN ME!

GOD, HEAL ME!

GOD, STRETCH ME!

The day after hearing Craig’s talk, I was reading from Genesis 32 about Jacob and his prayer to God when he was getting ready to meet his estranged brother, Esau.

In verse 5, he says “you told me...”. It is obvious that he knew God had CALLED him.

In verse 10, he says “I am not worthy...”. God had taken him through a process of RUINing him.

In verse 11, he prays “Please rescue me...” He turned to the God would need to HEAL him.

In verse 11, he says “I am afraid…” He knew that God was STRETCHing him.

Then in verse 12, he reinforces he restates his TRUST in God. “But you promised…”

I have seen this process at work in my life in the past year. I have gone through a process of being RUINed by God—of realizing that in my own strength, I am not worthy-I am nothing. I am experiencing the balm of His HEALing grace, and now am realizing that God wants to STRETCH me to be used by Him in ways I never imagined. And I am daily surrendering to TRUST His promises.

So, I believe this pattern is followed in each of our lives (the first and last steps are my addition)..

CALL
RUIN
HEAL
STRETCH
TRUST

We can abort the process by refusing to submit to God’s CALL, God’s process of RUIN, HEALing, and STRETCHing. But if we surrender, the end result will be to TRUST in a God who will do “exceedingly abundantly beyond anything we can ask or think.”

Memorial Service

2009-01-14T20:43:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow I get the privilege of sharing at a memorial service for a 20 year old who was tragically killed in a car accident last week. His adoptive sister attends at RiverTown.

It is one of those interesting families, and people who would not normally be together have been brought together by this tragic event. Also, people who would not normally sit around and talk with a minister seem to hang on every word I say.

One of the coolest things was to hear the family member who goes to RCC "brag" on her church to the rest of the family. Her description of RiverTown as "a church different than any other" and music that sounds like heavy metal with a great message brought expressions of surprise from the family. To my knowledge, no one else in the family goes to church at all. This lady was definitely seizing on this tragic situation to get her family to experience God's love and truth through the body of Christ that she is a part of.

It reminded me of when I first met her. She had brought her boyfriend to drop him off for community service. That continued weekly, and our brief interaction over those months gradually seemed to soften both of their hearts toward God and church.

In talking to the family this week, I am again reminded of the brevity of life. Our days on this earth are numbered, and as Rick Warren says, "Life is preparation for eternity." And then the question occurred to me, "What did I do today that prepared me and others for eternity?" But then the better question is:

What does God have in store for me tomorrow so that I can prepare for eternity?

Sobering, and thrilling thought. I can lay my head down tonight expectantly.

New Year

2009-01-09T13:24:00.003-06:00

I took a few weeks off from blogging, mainly because we traveled for 10 days to see family. We spent a few days visiting Lisa's family, and enjoyed spending time with them and even got to see snow. For 4 days, I had no internet, cell phone, or TV. Talk about disconnected--I started to have withdrawals! But then I realized the relaxation that can come from not worrying about the phone ringing, my inbox filling up, or missing the latest show. Lisa's family loves to play table games, and being in a cabin surrounded by mountains and snow, with a fire in the fireplace, plenty of food, a book to read, and games to play--it was really relaxing.

Then we traveled to NC to join my parents and siblings at a cabin there. Again no internet. I did have cell phone, but kept it off much of the time. I got to reconnect with my 3 brothers and meet my 3 week old niece.

In those ten days, I was again reminded of the impact of a family in shaping our beliefs. Mine and Lisa's famlies are totally different. Each has strengths and weaknesses and, to a large degree, we are products of our family systems.

In the past year, I have come to understand in a new way how my family system has shaped who I am today. I have had to be brutally honest in identifying lies that I believe that were passed down to me. I have learned how to reframe those lies with the truth from my Father God. As I have become honest, it has given me a new appreciation of my family. In future blogs, I hope to share more about this.

Question: Am I shaped more by the family system of my earthly father; or am I shaped more by the family system of Father God?

One of my goals for 2009 is that when people see me, they will recognize that I have been with Jesus. Luke 4 :13.

whirlwind week

2008-12-20T19:17:00.004-06:00

This week seems like a whirlwind--with lots of high-notes and low-notes.

Here are some high-notes:

Developed system with Delilah of followup from the Connection Cards--because every person matters to God.
Finished Christmas shopping.
Christmas lunch with the team I get to be a part of.
Discovered a few of my files were backed up--most of them journal entries--God must know what I need. :) (see below for more explanation)
Attending a graduation at the Liberty County jail for the CR Inside program and hearing the testimonies of 6 ladies who God got hold of in jail, and they are pursuing recovery.
CELEBRATED 16 YEARS WITH MY INCREDIBLE BRIDE. Spent the night and day with her at the Wakulla Springs Lodge--with my cell turned off, no tv, no computer.

Now for the low-notes:

Several people were sick this week--my wife, daughter, and administrative assistant. Sickness can sure change plans.
On Tuesday, my hard-drive crashed. Amazingly, I got it fixed same day and went to load my backup, only to discover that it was not a good backup. Some glitch with Windows backup program related to the difference between a normal, an incremental, and a differential backup.
Crying and praying with a friend whose marriage is struggling. Mad at Satan for tearing up families!
Grieving with a co-worker on the death of his grandmother.

As someone said, "The Christian life is like both rails of a train track." God gives us joys and sorrows. Ministry can be the highest of highs and the lowest of lows--both at the same time. God knows what we can handle. Too much success, and I struggle with pride. Too much sorrow, and depression creeps in.

Actually, the story of Christmas shows that. The baby Jesus came announced by an angelic choir and beautiful singing. But he also came in a feedtrough surrounded by smelly animals. It was exactly what God had planned!

Who would Jesus help?

2008-12-10T21:11:00.003-06:00

This week, it seems that requests for financial assistance have been very frequent and varied. I have asked the question so often, "Would Jesus help this person?" I believe the obvious answer is "YES". But the bigger question is "How would He help them?"

Some people seem to think that it is a necessity to buy Christmas gifts for their children. A request of a man calling from Kentucky wanting gas money wired to him. Ironically, he was referred to us by a local person to goes to another church in the community. Several people wanting a job referral. One man who beat the bushes for 3 days all over Blountstown on foot looking for a job. Guess what, he got one! Another family who thought it was my emergency that they waited to the last minute to try to pay their electric bill.

How would Jesus help? Obviously, He was God, so he could have divine knowledge of the real solution to their problem. But the thing that stands out to me in the gospels is that he treated each situation differently. He rarely used the same approach but he showed respect to each person.

Some need life coaching. A few need physical help such as food and clothes. All need prayer and an encouraging word.

What is a LIFE Group?

2008-12-07T17:02:00.000-06:00

A friend and I were talking the other day, and he asked, "What is a LIFE Group?" He had heard several people say what a LIFE Group is , and it seemed that their perspective is skewed. It made me realize that we so often resort to "insider" language and can get caught up in assumptions. Our perception is based on our first experiences of something, our cultural background, the perceptions of others around us, and our own personal needs. The longer we are involved in something, the more we succumb to thinking in our own box.

So I know all the pat answers, but what is a LIFE Group? Is it Bible Study, a curriculum, a weekly MEETING, serving together, FOOD?

No, all those things are components, but they do not define what a LIFE Group is. A LIFE Group is RELATIONSHIPS. Intentionally velcro-ing ourselves to individuals for the purpose of life change.